How to Get Your Poster Booty; He Vs. She, to “We”.

As previously mentioned, Mondo Gallery held an event for artists Tyler Stout and Ken Taylor. I’m expecting that you know what that entailed. If you’re on the out, maybe you should quit worrying about the laundry, and follow Nerdlocker more closely.

While The Man got the items he was looking for, and I scored my, “Silence of The Lambs” by Taylor, I ended up receiving other well earned rewards. Dutch Apple Streusel Cheesecake, a new garden and yarn were all part of the prize package.

The Man and I enjoy our own interests, but are more than happy to dive into them for each other. If the cards are played correctly, everyone gets what they want, and then some. I get my garden, which really is for both of us. This also means there will be less of a grocery bill, which means more moolah! Not only do we benefit, but now I have a public reason to wear that Wonder Woman costume.

Speaking of boobs…

I’d like to start this diatribe with a shout out to the “We” with a “V”. I’m glad to have been reassured that a stimulating conversation still exists. Even if the general public feeds off the most mundane melodrama, there are still ladies who want to take care of those “Walkers” with the intellectual nerdy shotgun.

With that, join my posse, as we begin to convert or extricate the wonderful world we live in, of those who refuse to believe that “Carrot” is not a skin color.

Ladies and Gentleman, please lend an ear for consideration:

Being greedy is rude. People will see if you’re manipulating, disregarding other people’s feelings, or just being an overall jackass. Everyone judges you for it. When you feel entitled to buy extras because you spent two nights waiting in line, or paying some bum to do so for you, you expose your douche card, and therefore are never invited to join the real party. When you name drop, gloat, and ass-kiss, you’re not considered to partake in the underground awesome that  you wish you were part of.

Modesty, appreciation, honesty, camaraderie and the willingness to both teach and learn (you can’t fill a cup that’s already full), will get you far.

I can’t stand a harpy.

I’m sure we’ve all experienced one of those energy draining, fun-sucking, bitchy, whiny, tighter-than-a-tampon, joyless uneducated (in our realm) women.

Guys, you’re screwed with these ladies. Chances are you do game, read, zone out to the boob-tube or throw on headphones to escape the reality that is; the only nuts in the house are in a bowl on the coffee table. Actually calling it off is more feared than being battered by this “walker” about anything you enjoy. At least you wouldn’t have to sell the only thing that does make you happy, in order to pay a lawyer, married or not. Odin knows, you can’t go out to have a beer with the guys without being berated by texts, while she goes out with the girls, and leaves you with the mess to clean up.

Harpies, whether man or woman, stick to all that sucks the world of its soul. They’ll usually take advantage of any opportunity without considering the karmic repercussions. As far as they’re concerned, the civil rules entailed in any sort of hobby are more for diehards. You can usually smell them coming, due to too much cologne, or hear their raw cackle as she laughs unnecessarily loud.

Then, there’s the General Public. They understand that their other half has a hobby that makes them happy. While each person enjoys their interest, they usually don’t get lit on details and stats of the other’s hobby. “Uh-huh, cool. Whatever makes you happy.”

Finally, there are the rest of us. We don’t have much of a title since we usually fill in the spaces. This group consists of all sorts of hobbyists, from grease monkeys and sport fanatics to photographers and knitters. What sets us apart from other’s is that our passion over flows and it’s in our hearts and minds to share. We want to entice and educate others in what we know, and there’s no such thing as “Members Only”.

If you find that collecting, or your hobby of choice, seems to fall upon deaf ears, here are a few things to consider.

• Take a long severe look in the mirror. Are you open and willing to share in the other persons’ interests? If yes, look again, and really evaluate, just to make sure. Then make sure there’s nothing in your teeth. No need for distractions.

• Be sure that your interest doesn’t prohibit you from living. It’s one thing to enjoy and know about your collecting, but it shouldn’t be your food, shelter, or relationship. If it creates a barrier, how can you expect anyone to relate or join?

• Make sure you know what you’re talking about. False advertising is one sure way to lose any interest. Be sure to store and care for your hobby/collectibles properly.

• Make sure you’re not a pompous windbag who knows it all. Too much is always too much. Don’t be a jerk about handling your collections. If you can trust someone to share with them, you should be able to trust them with your babies. If not, just don’t!

• Make it fun! Share snippets, links, articles, and things that you both can relate to. For example, I love Flatstock, a poster convention here in Austin during SXSW. Flatstock doesn’t only entail posters, but stickers, notebooks, postcards, shirts, magnets, and other creations the artists come up with. So someone who’s not giddy about collecting posters can still have a piece for themselves!

• Be ready to be shot down. Just because they don’t understand, doesn’t mean they don’t care for your sake. Bug collections can be cool, but to the wrong person, it can be a total psychotic break down waiting to happen. In this scenario, be patient, and work on it all. Chances are there’s something out there you both enjoy. We are only human…

• Be ready to be bombarded. With luck, you can find someone who is totally receptive! Maybe they already know all about the gig and, perhaps like you, never brought it up because you just weren’t quite sure how. On the other hand, maybe it was an explosion of glitter accompanied by White Castle Sliders at 3 am after binge Starcraft and good Belgians. Congratulations to you! You got yourself “Poster Booty”!

I hope, with luck and the understanding of your self worth, you become as lucky as I am, to share what you love and enjoy with someone special.

There’s nothing better than an agreeable silence.