“Kill ’em all!”
5. Starship Troopers – Personally, I can’t stand this movie. But one of my best friends absolutely loves it so I had to put it on the list. While it’s mostly CGI, foul language, bad acting, violence, and nudity, there is a subtle brilliance when you realize that it’s a parody of a Nazi propaganda film and that the audience is intended to ultimately sympathize with the bugs. Plus it has Michael Ironside and Neil Patrick Harris.
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“Release the Kraken!”
4. Clash of the Titans – It’s interesting how so many incredibly talented actors end up in terribly fun movies. Laurence Olivier, Maggie Smith, and Burgess Meredith don Greek robes in this fantasy adventure. But the real star of this film is the great Ray Harryhausen. His stop-motion creatures, Medusa and the Kraken, make this film truly epic.
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3. Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness – If you watch one, you have to watch the other. Evil Dead 2 will scare you silly with a singing moose, a possessed hand, and a dancing corpse. This uniquely campy horror film has made Bruce Campbell into a chainsaw wielding cult icon. Its “groovy” sequel, Army of Darkness, leaves behind the horror and amps up the action-packed fun. Campbell immortalizes Ash as the king of one liners: Both of these movies are a lot more fun to watch than the terrifyingly grotesque remake, Evil Dead. “Hail to the king, baby.”
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2. Masters of the Universe – Even as a kid in 1987 I knew this movie was awful. But He-man and the Masters of the Universe was my favorite cartoon. I can’t explain this movie with Dolph Lundgren and Courtney Cox any more than I can explain why a furry underwear, metal bra wearing hero with a bob haircut was the central character of a child’s cartoon.
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1. Flash Gordon – “Flash Gordon. Quarterback. New York Jets.” Rex Ryan might wish that Flash was his quarterback. But the only thing more pitiful than a butt fumble is that a whole generation of movie goers has never seen the movie Ted references and thus can never fully appreciate the Sam Jones cameo. You gotta love the blonde bomber as he fumbles his way to saving the universe in this funky sci-fi flick. The remarkably star-studded cast of Max Von Sydow, Topol, Timothy Dalton, Peter Wyngard, and Brian Blessed are brilliant as Ming, Zarkov, Prince Barin, Klytus, and Prince Vultan. The only thing that rocks more than this stellar cast, the cheesy special effects, and the corny dialogue is the soundtrack by Queen.
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Honorable mentions: Big Trouble in Little China, Escape from New York, Road House, Conan the Barbarian, Willow, Mortal Kombat, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Tron (1982), The Last Starfighter, Total Recall (1990).
So what are your favorite terrible movies that you love to watch? Let us know in the comments below.
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