I’m going to keep this one as short and sweet as I can because at this point, whether a direct sequel in the Fast Franchise or a spin-off, the style and execution is all headed in one, over-the-top direction. Take everything you’ve seen from the Hobbs & Shaw trailers, now imagine what you think the entirety of the movie will be like, you got it right, I promise. This is a no surprise, physics defying action film hell bent on making every new scene far more ridiculous than the previous. I’m not sure which happened more, the characters saying the word family or me eye rolling from how stupid every moment of this movie truly is. Now please don’t confuse my words, when I say it’s stupid I mean it, but not in a way that everyone who made this movie isn’t fully aware of; they are very much in on the joke and proceeded accordingly.
It is everything you expect it to be, Hobbs & Shaw is pure blockbuster fan service and instead of any kind of shame it embraces it with open arms and repetitive jokes in hand. The action sequences themselves are as stated before, absolutely ridiculous with flying Dwayne Johnsons and suave Jason Stathams trying really hard to insult one another constantly while of course facing the world’s greatest threats. They are impervious to death, harsh comebacks, incessant barrages of nameless bad guys, and gravity itself. The only thing more impossible than their abilities are those of the villain, played by the always bad ass and rightful heir to the 007 franchise, Idris Elba.
Repeatedly as the movie carried on I couldn’t help but think back to where this whole world started with Dom and his cronies robbing semi-trucks of their VCRs and televisions. Ah simpler times… Then I cut back to this movie where Johnson literally starts pulling a military helicopter out of the sky with nothing but his Rock muscles and a chain. Yeah. I’d like to think a conversation took place where they contemplated if it could get more outrageous than Johnson hanging out of a massive truck simultaneously redirecting a literal torpedo into the path of oncoming bad guys. And then the whole helicopter thing happened and here we are, we’re in this place now.
Anyway, back to Elba who is in every sense, a mechanised super soldier straight out of MARVEL territory. VCR theft and super soldiers, Fast & Furious. He can nearly fly, drop from insane heights (so can Johnson but they never bother explaining that part, it doesn’t really matter) he is literally impervious to bullets, he is nearly Hulk equivalent in strength, his spine is a kind of metallic material right out of Terminator. He has, no bullshit, a shutoff switch. Think about that one.
Hobbs & Shaw is everything it’s advertised to be with over-the-top but forgettable action scenes. It’s greatest strength is the chemistry of its leads, Statham and Johnson. They are never not insulting each other and for the most part it works, although even this aspect grows tiresome, mainly because they seem to run out of things to make comments about. The cameos are pretty great and worth keeping the secret. It’s action scene setting up action scene and repeating the process for two hours. And it’s all about family and sticking together and forgiveness and blah blah blah, you get it.
I grew tired of these movies after the fifth so you can imagine I’m not ecstatic to see this franchise now pushing out spin-offs and ten sequels and counting, it’s enough already. But money is money so this franchise will be around for some time to come. If you are okay with absolute mindless entertainment with big strong dudes beating up faceless goons and saving the world because they’re the only men for the job, Hobbs & Shaw is perfect for you. When the movie ended, I didn’t hate how I spent the last two hours but I knew I didn’t want to spend them that way ever again. It’s fine, it is what it is. Make of it what you will. One last thing, mark my words, this franchise WILL end up in space at some point.
Rated PG-13 For: prolonged sequences of action and violence, suggestive material and some strong language
Runtime: 135 minutes
After Credits Scene: Multiple during the credits and one post-credit
Genre: Action, Adventure
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Idris Elba, Vanessa Kirby
Directed By: David Leitch
Out of 5 Nerdskulls
Story: 2.5/ Acting: 3/ Directing: 3.5/ Visuals: 5
OVERALL: 3 Nerdskulls
Buy to Own: Personally, no. You already know if you’re going to like this one or not.
Check out the trailer below:
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