Nerdlocker Movie Review: You’re Next


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YN4It’s sad that stupid content, such as in this movie, makes it to the big screen… and believe me when I say that it is STUPID! I used to see Lionsgate as a front runner in the genre of horror, but these days it’s responsible for some awful films much like this one. The kills are generic and apparently the only reason the movie was made. It is beyond pointless and it’s infuriating to watch just how terrible it is. There was nothing likable about the characters; that could be in part at least due to some of the worst acting I’ve seen in a very long time. You see everything coming a mile away and thus a boring atmosphere is created. The only, and I mean ONLY, thing I enjoyed while watching this “film” has almost nothing to do with the actual movie itself. It was the audience that I saw it with; they made this experience bearable because they too couldn’t help but laugh at this manure that someone tried to pass off as entertainment.

When watching a trailer it’s bad news when you can’t help but think of another film that this one clearly copied (and did a much worse job with the subject matter, I might add). If you’ve seen the film The Strangers then you have seen a much better version of the home invasion type movie. You’re Next takes so much material from past attempts at this tired sub-genre and regurgitate it onto the masses unlucky enough to find themselves watching this dreck. They are currently using a quote from a review that calls this, “… the freshest horror movie in decades.” I think there should be a fine for those who misdirect people so badly because I tell you that the word fresh or any form of the word had nothing to do with this movie.

When a not-so close family decide to meet up for a reunion of sorts they know that fights will ensue, but in the spirit of family they try to make it work. Before long, tragedy happens when someone is killed with an arrow. Naturally confused, everyone begins to panic, which gets even more of them killed almost immediately. When the chaos calms they begin to think clearly and come to the obvious conclusion that someone is trying to kill them. One by one, people are taken out brutally and relentlessly, quickly bringing the survivors to a small group of about 5. Luckily for those left, one of them has survival skills that come in handy when facing these maniacal intruders. In the end everyone must face the ugly truth when certain secrets come to light as to why these people are here. Who will come out alive? Maybe no one…

YN3I don’t know what else I can say about this film that I haven’t already stated above. Maybe I can recap: Sorry script, terrible acting, rehashed everything pretty much, cheap scares that don’t work and just all around pointless. Whoever came up with this has no imagination. The most basic way to look at this movie is this; a bunch of people go to a secluded (always secluded) house where they are murdered by a group of masked intruders (The Strangers anyone?) for motives that may or may not involve someone that was thought to be good (A sorry attempt at a twist). With The Strangers at least there didn’t magically emerge this Rambo type to take all the bad guys out, it just ended badly which is much more likely than this ending. It was as if they took Lara Croft of Tomb Raider and put her in a horror movie. It’s stupid, end of story. Don’t waste anything on this half-assed attempt. SKIP THIS MOVIE!

YN2I almost forgot my favorite part of the movie; the killers like to write on walls or windows “You’re Next” and they spell it correctly. I don’t know why but seeing it spelled correctly with the proper punctuation just made me laugh. They actually take the time to add the apostrophe with “you’re”. And they do it using their victim’s blood. Grammar Nazis rejoice!

Rated R for: strong bloody violence, language and some sexuality/nudity
Run Time: 96 minutes
After Credits Scene: None
Starring: Sharni Vinson, Nicholas Tucci, Wendy Glenn, AJ Bowen
Directed By: Adam Wingard

Out of 5 Nerdskulls
Story: 1/ Acting: 1/ Directing: 2/ Visuals: 2.5
OVERALL: 1.5 Nerdskulls

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Chase Gifford

"Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world"-Jean-Luc Godard