March Nerdness 2012 – The Final Four
X-Men vs. The Umbrella Academy
While it was a nice run by an underdog team, The Umbrella Academy just couldn’t keep the magic going. The bell tolled midnight and Cinderella had to leave the ball. The X-men are just too powerful a team and will be representing The Outcast region.
Justice League of America vs. Avengers
Despite Stan Lee lighting up my cell phone with bribes for an Avengers vs. X-Men semifinal, his offer was not nearly enough to overcome common sense. Superman vs. Hulk – super speed and flight trump ‘roid rage. Iron Man vs. Batman – Bats would sabotage Stark’s suit, turning it into a trap. Captain America vs. Wonder Woman – Yes. This match-up is based upon thematic costumes. Diana’s star spangled undies win. If Quicksilver is on the Avengers then it’s a no-brainer that the Flash would best him. I mean, look at Quicksilver’s hair. Hawkeye might be able to beat Green Arrow. Thor might beat Green Lantern. Namor might beat Aquaman. Vision might beat Red Tornado. But there are too many heavy hitters in the JLA (Firestorm, Captain Marvel, etc). You want to expand the Avengers to include Spider-man and the like? Fine. Justice League can expand too. The Avengers are just no match.
The Uncanny X-Force vs. The Watchmen
Everyone knows that Rorschach is the coolest of The Watchmen. But X-Force is a whole team of Rorshachs. The Watchmen might have won if Dr. Manhattan would have just vaporized everyone, but he got disillusioned again and decided to play with his tinker toys on Mars.
The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants vs. Rogues
I love how upset everyone got about the villain region. But come on. Isn’t it cool that the Rogues have made it this far? Besides, the Sith, while imposing, really do wuss out when it comes down to it. Darth Maul is chopped in half, Count Dooku is decapitated by an emo Annakin, and Darth Vader and the Emperor are struck by lightning. Besides, there are only two – no more, no less. I mean, they’re not shot in the back by clones, but still…
Anyway, the Rogues beat the Brotherhood. The Rogues have staying power while the Brotherhood is a revolving door for misfit mutants.