Nerdlocker Movie Review: Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard


“A fight is not won by one punch or kick. Either learn to endure or hire a bodyguard.” – Bruce Lee

After the first movie ended I knew what kind of movie it was; the kind that audiences would love and (jaded) critics would loathe. I was right. And now with the second it elicits the same kind of feeling and already the critics are having their way with it. If my experience with an actual audience (the first audience I’ve seen a screening with in over a year due to Covid) is any indication then the movie going public is going to love Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, I know I did.

Is this a thinking man’s kind of comedy? Absolutely not. Should that be held against it? Absolutely not. One of its greatest strengths is from the start it knows what kind of movie it is and steers directly into it with arms wide open and a mouth full of obscenities. You could argue that this is just more of what the first movie is and doesn’t really add anything new to the equation. I can’t argue that but this particular sequel falls into a category of taking what worked the first time and simply adding to it hoping no one tires of its one trick formula and for my money it never bored me or left me looking for an exit. Outside of what the first did, the sequel doesn’t add much in the way of anything new or original in this world but it takes what the first did well and adds to it almost like a joke reel making for some truly outlandish and hilarious moments. Predictability isn’t always a bad thing.

I believe this is the perfect example of a property working mainly because of the casting. Had any one part of the main ensemble been replaced this would be a forgettable train wreck. Luckily each actor is a key component to this engine and for what it hopes to achieve, the engine is firing on all cylinders.

Ryan Reynolds is just likable no matter what and brings his typical (but welcome) charisma to match the crazy he encounters with his two insane co-stars. Samuel L. Jackson is a wild and violent mother fucker like we all enjoy him to be and is still somehow outmatched by his psychopathic wife played by the emphatically unstable, Salma Hayek. Her minimal screen time in the first movie left me wanting so much more of her character and with the sequel we are given everything we could possibly hope for. She is crass at a level that would make Jackson himself squirm and it is pure oxygen. She is brilliantly blunt and certifiable and completely steals the movie every moment she’s on screen. I was hoping for more insanity from her and my god did she deliver. There’s just something amazing about watching someone so beautiful be so vile and horrible.

I don’t know about anyone else but it’s comforting to me to know when a movie is made for you, or rather your demographic. What Hollyweird shits out it seems so much of it is made for either families, teens or is nothing more than Oscar bait. While I can enjoy a good animated film or a PG-13 adventure and I appreciate a strong character study, sometimes that R rating for violence and language and excessive action brings a smile to my face. Hitman 2 (Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard) is a reminder of this every time a trigger is pulled and a man’s head explodes brain matter all over Ryan Reynolds. It’s a warm blanket on a cold day, it’s a day at the pool in the middle of summer. It just feels good and that’s all I could ask of this movie and that’s what it gave me.

This isn’t a movie for critics and that’s perfectly fine. I’m genuinely grateful for movies like this because they remind me that it’s okay to love movies for the sake of loving movies, flaws and all. From my experience it seems critics reach a point in their careers where they’ve forgotten what it means to love going to the movies. It’s not always about the technical aspects or the award worthy acting. They have lost what it means to have fun with movies. I find that as long as I can enjoy movies like this I know I haven’t reached that point of being so jaded and pessimistic. This movie is easily dissectible and can be described as pointless but sometimes it’s nice to look beyond the shortcomings and just appreciate it for what it knows it does well. It’s a movie driven by it’s three main characters with extreme personalities. In order for it to work these three must be let loose and they are with hysterical results. The creators knew exactly what worked in the first and expanded upon it and it works. Period. Hitman 2 is a damn funny, action packed thrill ride that so far has not only not worn out its welcome with these characters and its one trick, it all leaves us hoping for more. I am all for Hitman’s Wife’s Child’s Bodyguard (or whatever ridiculous title they come up with).

Rated R For: strong bloody violence throughout, pervasive language, and some sexual content
Runtime: 99 minutes
After Credits Scene: Yes. Nothing really worth waiting for. Check it out when it releases on streaming or Blu-ray.
Genre: Comedy, Action, Crime
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Salma Hayek, Morgan Freeman
Directed By: Patrick Hughes

Out of 10 Nerdskulls
Story: 6/ Acting: 8/ Directing: 7.5/ Visuals: 8
OVERALL: 9 Nerdskulls

Buy to Own: Yes

Check out the trailer below:

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Chase Gifford

"Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world"-Jean-Luc Godard