Mom said you have to share! Now gimme!

March Nerdness 2014 Sci-Fi Edition! – Elite 8

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The Elite Eight!
The Elite Eight!

The Sweet 16 of March Nerdness is nothing like the basketball tournament. Everyone left in the Elite 8 was originally ranked in the top three seeds of their division.  All the underdogs have gone…under. (Airball of a pun, sorry.)

Here are the results, short and sweet. Remember, if you don’t like them then blame yourselves. You voted for them.

Mom said you have to share! Now gimme!
Mom said you have to share! Now gimme!
Besides, no man should have so much cleavage.
Besides, no man should have so much cleavage.

Captain Kirk vs. Khan and Captain Picard vs. Spock – Was there really any way of avoiding it? Kirk vs. Picard just had to happen. Sure, Kirk versus Spock would have made for some epic battle music, but we all know how that plays out. So Khan and Spock, although logically far superior fighters in strength, agility, and intelligence to both Captains, lose because the fans say so. Logic is overrated.

T-800 vs. Mad Max – No amount of arsenal, leather, or shoulder pads could stop the T-800. Thus our anti-hero from a post-apocalyptic down under goes…under. (That’s the same bad pun twice! I should go sit in the car.)

Xenomorph vs. Roy Batty – While Mad Max and Roy Batty would make for a punny matchup, no one wants to see that.
And besides, it’s cold in my car. Xenomorph and T-800 make bad puns much more challenging.

The Doctor vs. River Song – Domestic disputes can be ugly. I’m not going to air this couple’s dirty laundry.

Weeping Angels vs. Bad Wolf – If you think that continuity in comic books is hard to follow, try Doctor Who. I don’t know how the Weeping Angels defeat Bad Wolf. Let’s just say it’s dark, she can’t see all of them, and they creepily sneak up on her to send her back in time or to another dimension or whatever. Roll the trippy credits.

Darth Vader vs. Han Solo – The first time these two met, Han shot first. Didn’t work out so well for him then either.

"What have I told you about setting off fireworks inside?!? You're going to blow your hand--"
What have I told you about setting off fireworks inside?!? You’re going to blow your hand– never mind.

Obi Wan vs. Darth Sidious – Because the Jedi Council is oblivious, these two have never actually battled. However, having defeated Darth Maul and “Darth” Anakin, Obi Wan would stand a good chance against Darth Sidious. Sure he lost to Count Dukoo back in the episode everyone wants to forget. But let’s just say it’s arguable that he has become stronger in the force since then. Obi Wan finishes what Mace Windu couldn’t because of a cheap shot.

See you back here in a few for the final four! In the meantime, let us know who should win between Enterprise captains, Obi Wan vs. Vader round 3, a doctor and peek-a-boo statues, and 80s sci-fi villains.

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I've been a comic nerd since Spider-man and his Amazing Friends and the Super Friends. So someone please explain to me, when did Aquaman become so cool? Also, why isn't She-Hulk in more media?