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Jason’s Bracket – March Nerdness: The Champion!

Batman vs. Wolverine

When determining the champion, I thought about doing something lame like declaring that neither of them wins.  You know, like all those crossover comics where the two heroes battle until they figure out they’re both on the same side and join forces to defeat the true villain.

I also thought it would be funny to say that Dark Claw wins!

Dark Claw wins!

But I figured either of these two options would anger people.  Angering nerds either ends in the sabotage of some kind of technology or role-play violence.  Neither of which is not pretty.

Thus, I determine to declare an actual winner. 

While my heart and all the collectibles in my basement say Batman, my head says Wolverine.  Despite Batman’s resourcefulness, Wolverine’s healing factor is just too much to overcome.  The guy is basically immortal. 

But then my heart started to convince my head that, although he could not kill Wolverine (nor would he, of course), Batman could incapacitate Wolverine with a giant magnet until Logan got so flustered he would just quit.

But then, Logan isn’t exactly a man of his word.  I could see Batman turning off the magnet and Wolverine just stabbing the Caped Crusader for no reason but to make himself feel better.  Whether Batman froze him, sent him to another dimension, or gave him a decent haircut, Wolverine would find a way to get even with the Dark Knight.

Winner: Wolverine.  Sorry, Batman.  Take solace in the fact that the film The Dark Knight did not go straight to the crapper after the opening credits.

I also thought it would be fun to remind people that if my brackets followed the NCAA tournament, then Starfire would have faced Black Adam in the championship with Starfire winning the title.  Madness!

I've been a comic nerd since Spider-man and his Amazing Friends and the Super Friends. So someone please explain to me, when did Aquaman become so cool? Also, why isn't She-Hulk in more media?

3 Comments

  1. ZHawk

    April 7, 2011 at 10:01 AM

    Sorry dude. Batman would beat the crap out of wolverine so bad he’d wish Romulus was still around! Batman is much to smart to get into a fist fight with a guys with razor sharp knives coming out of his hands. He would simply stun, blind, confuse, concuss and ultimately knock him unconscious like the animal he is.

    • Jason

      April 7, 2011 at 2:59 PM

      My heart agrees with you ZHawk! My brain tells me Wolvie would just keep coming until Batman ran out of tricks. Of course, I often don’t listen to my brain…

  2. Weapon X-2

    May 20, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    Wolverine would definately win. Batman is unable to get his hands on Adamantium. Wolverine has adamantium claws so he can cut through anything Batman has in his arsenal. Wolverine has superior tracking abilities with his sense of smell while Batman has to rely on gadgets to track people. When Batman gets hurt he stays hurt whereas when Wolverine gets hurt he regenerates. And most importantly Batman does not kill and Wolverine does “He is the best there is at what he does and what he does isn’t very nice.” Basically you have Batman who is a normal man in a pair of tights with a few gadgets who refuses to kill his foes versus a mutant with an ungodly healing ability and bones and claws infused with the strongest metal known to man and one hell of a violence streak. Yeah…. Wolverine wins big time. To my knowledge Wolverine has never been permanently killed.

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